Friday, December 20, 2013

Race Relations PT.1 (NSFW)


As uncomfortable as it is to discuss, this is an issue widely discussed among the customer service community. Do you agree? Don't be scurrd. 

This video doesn't "necessarily" reflect the views and opinions of the good folks at TipYourWaiters. Viewer discretion is advised.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013


Whats more contagious? One person in a party asking for a togo beverage or yawning?

Friday, December 13, 2013

The Dead Give Away Series: Lemonade

You aint slick. Water with a bowl of lemons? Sugar? Ok. Just don't all upset when I charge you for lemonade. I do less work getting you a lemonade from the fountain... 

   Tellem Tom

The Dead Giveaway Series: Soda

When you ask your server what's the price for a soda it is a DEAD GIVEAWAY that you are a pickle kissin' cheapskate who aint gonna tip.

Don't be THAT server vol.1

Servers are not perfect. As infallible as we like to think we are, there are some things we can work on. Things that our guests cannot see. I've compiled a small list of a few common foibles and bad habits servers have that makes our experience a rougher ride. Though serving is not the ultimate career choice for most of us, it is still a means to an end. You are still apart of something greater than yourself and you should give your all. Hopefully after reading this you will be inspired and make an extra effort to be the best server you can be.

Don't be the server that runs their own food and no one else's.

  •     No one else will run your food and as a result your food goes out lukewarm at             best.

Don't be the server that doesn't do running or closing side work.

  •     You will be public enemy number one. All eyes will be on you, and your                     incompetence will lead to less shifts. Your fellow waitstaff will not respect you. 

Don't be the server that complains about everything and everybody

  •    Your fellow waitstaff will hate to see you coming! Always a victim. Its never your      fault. Everyone will eventually see you cry at least once and will never take you        serious.

Don't be the server that broadcasts all of your good deeds and hard work

  •      So what you you've done everybody else's side work? So what you're running            everybody else's food? We see you! The proof is in the doing and not the saying.      Humble yourself. Hard work never goes unnoticed.

Don't be the server that brings their home issues to work.

  •   Your dog died. Your gf/bf left you. Your toilet is stopped up. I get it. It sucks, but     you also have a job to do. You'll get your sympathy, but please keep the moping       and moaning locked up. Especially if you're a man....

These are just a few. Feel free to add more and discuss in the comments section.


Wednesday, December 11, 2013

French Onion Soup: A Taste of Italy

      A couple barrels in to an Italian restaurant on a brisk winter's day and are craving soup. The husband at first glance would be perceived as a hard working country man lookin' fer some good eatin'. The wife maintains that slightly annoying disposition of routinely being polite. The young man serving the table politely attempts to give the couple a tour of the menu. Upon reciting the featured favorites, the wife interrupts the young man with "UH UH! I jist wont summa yawls French Unyin Soop"! The server quickly retorts with, "I'm sorry ma'am, but we only have minestrone, ITALIAN wedding, and SICILIAN chicken noodle." "WELL wha dontchall have French Unyin anymower", belched the corpulent and disgruntled woman. The server then looks to the husband to interject and soothe his untamed wife, but the husband is disturbingly entranced by his phone and slinging a portly red bird into a wall with a green pig hiding behind it. 
     The server then fights the internal fight that servers all over struggle with everyday. To unleash the inner jerk and weave a thick quilt of sarcasm, or politely allude to the poor woman that one receives Italian cuisine in an Italian establishment. He goes with the ladder, but the lady just cannot fathom that Italians don't specialize in French "Unyin" soup. She then professes to the server that someone made it for her before and demands to see a manager. The server obliges. As the manager approaches the table, he acknowledges both the husband and wife. Only the wife responds verbally as her beet red cheeks shake like a Sweet n Low packet. The husband is still fingering his device while biting his bottom lip. The contents of the conversation between the manager and the woman are unclear. However it ends in the couple leaving and the manager giving them free appetizer vouchers.......... -_- Upon walking out of the store the husband wheezes ,"Have a blessed day".

   It is also unclear why the manager would want them to even return as it is clear that they are inept, and are not the type of clientele who spends big money. My take away from this experience is the next time I order Chinese, I'm going to attempt to order a slice of Mexican Cornbread and see what I'm offered...



Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Super Sitters Suck

There is nothing wrong with wanting to catch up with old friends or family in an energetic atmosphere while imbibing and enjoying a nice meal. Most restaurants welcome this type of outing and are designed to accommodate accordingly with plush seats, friendly soundtrack, pleasant ambiance, and of course a server at your every beck and call. To the unassuming patron, this scenario sounds inviting. However to servers, this is a sh*t sundae...with sprinkles.

                                              Peep the scenario...

       A good 94.4% of the time one woman waddles into the restaurant. She is then seated by the hostess. The server comes by and greets the woman at the table, and she replies "I'm waiting on someone. She should be here any moment". At this point the server usually gets the drink order which is usually water with (extra) lemon to start. If she orders hot water the server automatically knows what time it is and curses the biddy under their breath (I'm getting annoyed just typing this out) *punches pillow* Whew! Okay sorry. Anyways the server has returned with the beverage and inquires about an appetizer. The lady declines and says she'll wait on her acquaintance. So... 15 to 20 minutes have passed, and the restaurant is filling up. As soon as the server is sat with another table in strolls her acquaintance. The woman who shows up first waves her flabby varicose vein arm to signal to her guest where she is. The two slam their heavy frames into one another and share pleasantries or what have you. The server then has to assist two tables and a "Janey Come Lately" whom demands immediate service. Lo and behold guest #2 wants water with lemons as well. The server begins to assist and expedite the other table and visits the initial table to inquire about appetizers and/or the main course. They both reply... We haven't even looked at the menu!!!

Minutes pass and the server's other table receives their pre entree salads. The server is then flagged down by the flabby armed tandem and they want to discuss wines all of the sudden. Annoyed, the sever then asks what specific wines they enjoy. 80% of the time both ladies will reply, "white wine". *Deep Sigh* So now the server has to dig deeper and consume more time by attempting to specify the type of white wine. B*tches love chardonnay and reisling so the server pushes the reisling. They order house (cheap) chardonnay. Meanwhile at the server's other table the main courses are arriving. The server comes up with the perfect segue to depart the table and check on the other table to make sure the meals came out as ordered. Usually that's when the server replenishes drinks and/or bread(toootally different story altogether). The women shove the wine down their jelloesque necks and decide to SPLITTTT *echoes* one entree. They both say they're "not that hungry". SO WHY THE F_CK WOULD YOU COME TO A RE.. never mind.

((Funny sidebar. As I'm typing, the commercial to the restaurant I work at came on advertising a $13 meal we feature and I flicked the television off. Haw.))

Their main course arrives and the server inquires about another glass of wine. Of course they decline and deep throat the rest of their waters forcing the server to comeback to them with refills. The server's other table gets up, and since the restaurant is so busy it is quickly cleaned and sat again. The server greets, spiels, takes drink orders, returns drinks, takes main course orders, and expedites said table to ensure a faster turn time. Seeing as how the initial table has been clucking, cackling, and occupying the first booth in the server's section for an hour and a half now the server has to speed up the process and alter service to quickly make money. The server then goes by the two visiting heavies to see if they are done eating. They are. The server must check if the ladies want desert. They do not, buuuuuuuuuuut they both order COFFEE!!!!! The cherry on the sh*t sundae!!! 

In server land tables ordering coffee after a meal is the universal symbol for we're camping out. Some servers do complementary cups of coffee, but not to these aloof heifers. Let's fast forward 40 minutes later. The server's other table is ready to pay and so are the biddies. Their bill is about $32.00. They sign the credit card slip and leave three funky ass dollars. They smile and laugh and continue to sit, as the server is forced to rotate his or her one table to make money. In the two almost three hours the ladies sat there, the server could have mad AT LEAST three times as much as the women left. The End.

  In summation super sitting/camping is rude and inconsiderate. Starbucks specializes in coffee and meetings. If you want to sit and talk, go to a place that fosters that type of thing so you don't have to waste a server's time and opportunity to make money. If you're conversation is so deep, talk outside, talk in your car, or go to Starbucks!! Know the difference between restaurants and bed and breakfasts.

Next time I even think that's about to happen to me I'mma be like




Monday, December 9, 2013


Every server worth their salt knows that he or she is a salesperson first and a human second. At least that is what we were conditioned by "corporate" to think. Anywho, said server is responsible for an introductory welcome sales pitch to their guests upon seating. These pitches include a greet, an informative briefing on menu items, and beverage suggestion/inquiry. That list is affectionately known to servers all over as a "spiel". Being a part time sever/bartender over 6 years has taught me that life and death lies in the power of the spiel (you heard it here first). One can determine their tip, gauge the personalities, or find the buyer(s) at the table just off of the content of their spiel. Having said all of this, I thought I'd apply that same principle to the blogosphere!! So....Welcome to Tip Your Waiter!!

       Tip Your Waiter is a running journal on day to day experiences in the food and beverage industry. All shift I keep a poker face and tailor my words to fit into the paradigm designed by the ever-looming "corporate" entity. Only (and I amplify the word only) because for me to survive I need that source of income and fast cash in this economy. This blog is my emphatic "F*CK YOU" to all of the corporate entities, cheap ass guests, miserable management, and classless ass hats that frequent restaurants and retail. The best part about this blog is that I am inviting all of my brothers and sisters in the food and bev and retail struggle to come and vent a little. 

       There will be a fair share of the ass hats that I've mentioned before to read and participate in this blog, and that is great. Here you will learn proper etiquette and what your server, bartender, cashier, and customer service rep is really saying about your backwards ass *laughs*. After reading this blog you will be informed on how to tip, how to act in public, and the proper way to treat the person assisting you. There's something for everyone. Even you... Moving forward I want everybody who frequents this site to feel free to share their experiences, stories, thoughts, and whatever else. Let this be your place to vent!! We will answer questions, shoot down stereotypes, and most importantly make sure people know to TIP YOUR WAITER 20% ON THE TOTAL OF THE BILL!!!